Improving Relationships and Workplace Harmony You may believe that your ability to be successful on the job is linked primarily to your IQ, but in recent years social science researchers have observed that workplace success is more dependent on emotional intelligence, or EI. EI is your ability to recognize and be aware of your emotions, to accurately perceive emotions in others, and to use this awareness to empower successful workplace relationships. Good EI promotes positive interactions with others and leads to more cooperation and a better ability to adapt to a changing work environment. Example of EI include... Knowing that missing a deadline will have a negative impact on coworkers, and deciding to finish early in order to enhance goodwill; Sensing a coworker’s frustration, and inquiring about it rather than ignoring it; Knowing that your attitude affects others, and therefore choosing to display a pleasant demeanor despite the way you might actually feel; and Sensing when there is a need to resolve tension between you and a coworker, and being proactive in initiating that discussion. Improving your EI You can improve your EI by focusing on your feelings and those of others. Pay attention not just to what is said, but to tone of voice, nonverbal cues, and actions. Consider the most effective and suitable response to the message you perceive. Challenges to Work On The ability to consciously decide how you react to certain emotions you experience is an EI skill called self-regulation. For example, self-regulation allows you to taper your response to provocations and incidents in the workplace to avoid an inappropriate emotional response that would cause you to lose control over the outcome. Do you frequently interrupt coworkers while they are talking? Do you pay more attention to your phone than to those speaking to you? What are some of your EI challenges? Try asking your supervisor or good friend about areas where you need improvement in self-regulation. Turn these into personal goals for change. Use a coach, a counselor, or your employee assistance program to help you develop strategies for tackling these habits. Check out the book titled The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book. It’s loaded with great exercises for personal change and improving EI. Positively Influencing Others It is well known that attitudes—both positive and negative—are contagious. Appreciating this dynamic can help you become a positive force in your workplace. You may not feel your best every day, but remember this will empower you to intervene with negative feeling states. (Hint: To improve your attitude and be a positive influence, take care of yourself: get enough sleep, eat right, get daily exercise, and take appropriate time off from work to recharge and renew.) Improve Your Empathy Reach Empathy is your ability to understand another person’s needs and the emotional state that person experiences regarding those needs, and then to respond appropriately. Improving your ability to empathize (your “empathic reach”) allows others to feel heard and prompts a give-and-take response from people that enhances relationships. Listening well and talking less is the key to improving your empathic reach. Helping others really feel heard is a learned skill. For example, if a coworker says, “Oh no, it’s raining outside,” don’t just say, “Yes, it is.” Instead, reach with empathy by saying, “Let’s hope it stops before your tennis match today. You’ve worked so hard to prepare for it.” This is an example of a more meaningful and relationship-building response. EI is about People Skills Emotional intelligence is about people skills. Practice a bit of self-awareness, and believe in your ability to positively affect others and your organization. And be open to learning about areas where you can improve by listening to others, considering the feedback they provide, and acquiring new habits of positivity and self-regulation. This approach will add to your job satisfaction and happiness, and will promote a positive work culture for all.

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health offers online tools, information about gambling and getting help, support for families, and more. These self-help tools may be used anonymously. Registration is free. Watch the video below or learn more at https://www.problemgambling.ca/gambling-help/HomePage.aspx.

"One of a parent's most treasured moments is to look in on a child who is sleeping peacefully. The value of sleep can be measured by your child's natural energy, smiling face, and happy nature during the daytime. Sleep is a vital part of how a child's body and mind grow and develop. Behavior or developmental problems can arise when a child does not sleep well. ..." University of California Los Angeles' Sleep Disorder Clinic offers helpful information on sleep and children, including: Problem signs Bedtime routines Common sleep problems in young children Tips to help your child sleep better Read the article: https://www.uclahealth.org/sleepcenter/sleep-and-children

"People may know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like, but most don’t know how to get one. Psychologist and researcher Joanne Davila describes how you can create the things that lead to healthy relationships and reduce the things that lead to unhealthy ones using three evidence-based skills – insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation." For more about the Three Evidence-Based Skills for A Healthy Relationship: http://www.skillsforhealthyrelationships.com/healthy-relationships http://www.skillsforhealthyrelationships.com/skills http://www.skillsforhealthyrelationships.com/conflicting-needs

Overcoming the Habit of Delaying Important Tasks Source: MindTools.com Article: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm Learn more about how to stop procrastinating: https://hbr.org/2016/07/how-to-beat-procrastination https://hbr.org/2011/10/stop-procrastinatingnow.html

Job burnout is officially recognized by the World Health Organization in 2019 as an occupational phenomenon.1 “Burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomenon in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.” Burnout can affect not only your work, but also your relationships and your health. It’s important to know what burnout is and its symptoms so you can spot them quickly and take steps to intervene. Burnout is the effect of chronic, long-term stress. The result of this stress leads to the inability to function well at work or in your personal life. Most people suffer from physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and the feeling that they can no longer achieve. Even if you love your job, you can still be at risk for burnout. Understanding the symptoms of burnout gives you the ability to take care of yourself before things get worse. Daily tasks, such as getting exercise and fresh air and doing something outside of work that you enjoy, can help prevent burnout. For others, taking leave or going on vacation can help. The best practice is to stop burnout before it starts. Here are the top 10 signs you’re heading toward burnout. You get sick more often. From colds to heart disease, your body starts wearing down under the constant stress. Inability to sleep. Stress leads to insomnia in many people. Physical fatigue. You feel wiped out at the end of your work week, or sometimes even before Mental fatigue. Constant stress leads to forgetfulness and the inability to concentrate. You may find that making decisions is difficult. Irritability. You may feel irritable at work or in your personal life. Little things that used to not bother you begin grating on your nerves. Feeling apathetic. You’re heading toward burnout if your attitude is “What’s the point?” You may feel hopeless about your career, which can spill over in your personal life. You don’t feel enjoyment at work. Most people find that there’s at least one thing they like about their job, but after a long period of extreme stress, you may find that you dread going to work, or you punch the snooze bar a couple of times more in the morning. Negativity. Chronic stress leads to seeing the glass half empty. Feeling negative affects everyone around you, at work and at home. Anxiety. Constant worry is a classic symptom of burnout. It also produces a steady stream of stress hormones that can be very hard on the body. Depression. Prolonged stress leads to feeling sad, hopeless, and worthless. You may start to isolate from others, even people you love. If you recognize that you are experiencing symptoms of burnout, here are some tips to get back on track: Write down three things every day that you are grateful for. Gratitude has a profound effect on our outlook on life. Making a daily list helps combat negativity. Go to the doctor. Get all those physical symptoms, such as heart palpitations, headaches, and insomnia, sorted out. Feeling better physically will do wonders. Spend time with the things that bring you joy. Every day, do something that brings you joy. That may mean texting your kids or walking the dog. Giving yourself something to look forward to is a good practice to avoid burnout. Meditate. Daily meditation is known to boost the immune system and help restore a sense of well-being. Most adults don’t get enough quiet time. Give yourself 10 minutes a day to clear your mind of the clutter. Set realistic expectations. Most people try to do more than feasibly possible. Make a list of what you want to accomplish in a day, then cut it in half. Stick to your priorities. Remember what is important in your life and make that a priority. If you feel like you need help avoiding burnout, be sure to reach out to your employee assistance program. Counselors can help you develop a strategy to help you recover. 1. In 2019, job burnout is included in the 11th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as an occupational phenomenon. https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burnout/en/

Challenges for Youth The challenges that face present day youth are complex and multifaceted. They include meeting developmental milestones, family and peer relationships, pressures to perform academically and the expectation for an early vocational direction. Some youth face additional difficulties related to sexual identity, mental health, poverty, instability in the home, disability, bullying, addiction and transition to a new country and culture. Responses to these challenges vary greatly. Most youth are surviving and thriving, despite these pressures. If youth were a separate species, social scientists would be interested in learning more about their resiliency and capacity for adaptation. Yet there is a segment of youth who struggle significantly. Their struggles are communicated to us through their social withdrawal, acting out behaviors, depression, perfectionism, self-harming and other high risk behaviors. Families may feel overwhelmed by these problems. Public perception can amplify fear and increase feelings of isolation and hopelessness in families. Frequently, the media doesn’t provide a balanced perspective, emphasizing the problem over the solution. In light of all of this, how can we keep our collective eye on the real capacities of our young people, remembering that they are still works in progress? It might be helpful to consider ways in which the process of development can be supported rather than getting too caught up in particular hiccups along the way. Signs of High or Chronic Stress in Adolescents & Young Adults sleeping and eating changes agitation increase in conflicts physical complaints delinquent behavior poor concentration Pinpointing Problem Areas If you are experiencing challenges with an adolescent in your life, it might be helpful to narrow down what you are dealing with. Ask yourself, am I dealing with… The expected challenges of adolescence; Concerns that include an added dimension connected to a special situation; single parenting, blended family issues, violence or a youth with mental illness; Acting-out teens. What are the Protective Factors? Dr. Jean Clinton, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and an Assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioural Neuroscience at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario has said, “…youth need someone whose eyes light up when they see them…they need more of our time, not less.” “…youth need someone whose eyes light up when they see them…they need more of our time, not less” A sought-after educator, Dr Clinton inspires hope and optimism. Her presentation “The Teenage Brain: Under Construction” emphasizes that critical developmental processes occur in teenage brains. While bodies mature to adult size seemingly earlier and earlier, the last part of the brain to develop is its capacity for executive functioning. This is the area responsible for logical thinking, planning and judgment, regulation of emotions and urges and inhibition. Development is not fully complete until the mid 20’s. Evidence suggests that in fact our young people are riding a tilt-a-whirl, walking a tight-rope, essentially living life like a carnival acrobat until their brain biology settles in. Protecting that biological process of maturation is crucial. Prolonged stress can actually damage the brain. On the other hand, positive relationships provide the most potent protective factors. Youth need strong attachments. The McCreary Centre in Vancouver BC recently released the results of a survey of over 29,000 students. Study highlights point convincingly to the following: that youth who feel cared for by their family; feel connected to school; have competent, caring adults to turn to with problems; and who have supportive friends with positive social values are less likely to succumb to external, negative influences. In addition, they are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. They also tend to report lower levels of emotional distress. Vulnerable, at-risk youth benefit in many ways with even a small improvement in a protective factor such as school or family connectedness. The Adolescent Health Survey indicates that in addition to reducing emotional distress protective factors create opportunities for developing creative skills and artistic expression, for teamwork, for health enhancing social activities and for making a difference in the community through volunteer work. A Sense of Purpose Defined by researchers, resilience means doing well in life despite adversity. Adversity can be represented in the extreme such as abuse or poverty or it may be present in the face of everyday challenges. Resilience is an essential part of supporting the capacities of the individual to respond positively to his or her world. Identifying a sense of meaning in life, having faith and hope, contributes to resilience in young people. Meaningful participation and involvement in an activity with a focus outside him/herself is known as youth engagement. Identifying a sense of meaning in life, having faith and hope, contributes to resilience in young people. Meaningful participation and involvement in an activity with a focus outside him/herself is known as youth engagement. Creating a Support Team Depending on your circumstances you may require support from multiple sectors including: counseling support, medical support, legal support, crisis support, and educational support. In all situations: Know that youth are more vulnerable if they have been personally affected by a loss, live in a vulnerable community or are dealing with mental health challenges Acknowledge feelings, invite open discussion and questions Role model self-care Focus on resilience, protective factors and strengths Expressing strong emotions builds resilience Be optimistic Invite open conversations but don’t push Anxiety can result due to media overload Consider developmental abilities (remember the teenage brain is under construction) Spend energy on coping, not blaming Help others in need, build community Watch behaviours that signal problems Practice realistic strategies: clear communication, set limits, define responsibilities, enforce consequences, negotiate don’t dictate, problem solve, manage anger

10 Tips for Leadership Success Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall. ~~Stephen Covey We all know there isn’t a ‘magic wand’ when it comes to effective leadership. It’s a deliberate, daily endeavour that requires great effort and creativity. Good leaders can elevate team performance to unexpected levels when they conduct themselves with clarity and commitment. Whether you’re just beginning your career as a team leader or trying to re-energize your department, here are some simple guidelines that can help you to become a more effective and successful leader. 1.Gather feedback from unlikely sources. Ask for feedback, not only from the usual sources such as your boss, peers and reports, but from unusual sources as well. Administrative staff often represents the point of continuity as bosses come and go. They know the teams and the particulars. Ask their opinion. Another great source is the ‘invisible staff’ – you know who I mean – the cafeteria staff, the office cleaners, the folks that ensures you have a clean office, empty wastebasket and coffee in your cup. They are listening to all the conversations around them (which leads to another topic: conversations meant to be private but aren’t) and are a good gauge of employee “temperature.” For general public input, ask your cabbie about your organization or field of expertise next time you take a ride. They have lots to share! 2. Read Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni (Jossey-Bass, 2004) and make your meetings more effective. People are constantly telling me that the meetings they attend are boring, ineffective and a waste of valuable time. Define your meeting goals. You should know what they are if you’re chairing the meeting. Read lots, keep learning – I like the “Weekly Hotlist” email newsletter from Harvard Business Review (www.hbr.org). 3. Keep your boss informed with monthly written updates. Bullets only. Executive summaries should be sufficient, details can be provided if required. If you can put it on a chart for easy reading, all the better. This lets you keep your boss informed but is also a great venue to identify your successes. Performance reviews are always just around the corner, if you don’t keep your boss informed (especially of victories) then there’s little to set you apart from the crowd. 4. Have two working retreats per year with your team. They don’t have to be expensive. Retreats should have four main components: team building, strategic planning, skills development and reflection on successes. Remember that focusing on success leads to more success. A facilitator can take a retreat from good to great, and can allow you to focus on your own participation at the retreat rather than the food, seating, room temperature, etc. A small investment in expertise will net you large returns on your retreat. 5. Don’t let the rumour mill get ahead of real information from you. Be the leader that the team needs. Nature abhors a vacuum so if you don’t provide information then people will listen to the rumour mill whether it’s true or not. Hearing about your company crisis from the news creates an internal crisis and your star employees will start job hunting. Leaders often tell me that they don’t know what to say, especially if head office is still figuring out the next steps. So talk about that! People don’t expect you to be perfect and to have all the answers; they expect you to keep the lines of communication open. Don’t forget to validate people’s fears – if it’s real to them it’s real. Talk about it and reassure the group that as soon as you have an update to share you will. 6. Have a plan. Les Stroud from “Survivor Man” says the key to survival is having a plan. This also applies to work. You should be able to sketch out your high level strategy in 10 minutes for anyone that asks. The plan doesn’t have to be fancy or outlined using the latest technological tools. I’ve seen great plans outlined on a scrap piece of paper. The plan is meant to be reviewed and shifted as your priorities and information changes. Without a plan your team will think think they don’t have a leader. Use it to guide the team, inform your stakeholders and keep yourself on track. 7. Be positive. Les Stroud says a positive attitude is the other part of the survival equation. Think of it – if you aren’t positive about your plan why would your team follow you? Positivity is infectious. Teams who start meetings by spending the first 5 minutes reviewing successes from the previous weeks are cited to be much more likely to have a positive can-do meeting. 8. Take time for reflection on a regular basis. Pause once every week or two and have another look at your strategic plan. Think about the events of the week and analyse how they inform you for your future approach. If you can’t do this effectively by yourself consistently get a coach. As your professional development partner, a good coach will guide and assist you through structured reflection. Reflection helps you answer the question “Am I in the right place at the right time?” 9. Have fun. The other day a client told me their boss wasn’t fun so the workplace wasn’t fun. They weren’t talking about the clown-of-the-office kind of fun, but someone who understood that humour can often make the stress of the day manageable. Don’t be afraid to laugh and smile – it will help your staff see you as an approachable leader and will help everyone (including you) relax. 10. Be calm. The biggest fatality on the highway of overwork is the sense of calm. You set the bar for your staff in every aspect of the job. If you are using words like “swamped” and “never-ending work” then you brand your team attitude accordingly. Assist your team in identifying efficiencies that can make the day a bit easier. Usually they have lots of ideas that can make a difference and are just waiting for you to ask! (see Tip #2 – often it’s about the meetings) Frequently you can’t regulate the amount of work coming in but you have total determination over your state of mind when facing it. A calm leader transmits to the team they have no need to be stressed and you are in control. Credits: Katherine Craig is CEO and founder of Spearhead Executive Coaching

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) has created a series of free online tutorials to help individuals learn about mental health. Addiction 101 gives an overview of addiction and substance use, risk factors and causes of addiction, it's impact, treatment options, how and where to get help, and more. This guide is for people who: are concerned about themselves concerned about a family member or friend encounter people with addictions problems through their work This is a self-directed tutorial; it takes approximately 20 minutes to complete. To access this course, click on the button below. You will be directed to a site outside of FSEAP.

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) has created a series of free online tutorials to help individuals learn about mental health. Youth and Mental Health 101 gives an overview of youth mental health challenges, building resilience, how to start a conversation about mental health, getting help, resources, treatment, and more. This is a self-directed tutorial; it takes approximately 30 minutes complete. To access this course, click on the button below. You will be directed to a site outside of FSEAP.