Coworker conflicts can be one of the most difficult forms of workplace stress. Understanding the nature of conflict, examining myths, and learning simple, conflict resolution skills can reduce conflicts and their negative toll on your job satisfaction and productivity. THE NATURE OF CONFLICT Workplace conflicts naturally emerge from the incompatible or opposing needs, wishes, external demands, or perceived demands of others. Conflict between coworkers can be visible in the work environment or stay hidden from others. Conflicts frequently grow worse without resolution and can be costly if they appear irreconcilable. Although often stressful, conflict at work is normal. When managed and controlled, conflict in the workplace is beneficial because it can stimulate change and discovery, and increase productivity. Understanding accepted principles about conflict in the workplace can help you feel less victimized by it and more in control of its outcome. MYTHS ABOUT WORKPLACE CONFLICT Myth #1: Conflict is Bad. In the workplace, conflict is not inherently bad. It is usually a symptom, not a problem. It is a signal to do something to manage differences. What follows is a new outcome toward the goal of seeking harmony in the workplace and improving productivity. Myth #2: Conflict is Win-Lose. Conflict is often mistakenly viewed as an undesirable contest of wills and determination where one person wins and the other loses. This view reduces the potential benefits of conflict and can make it worse. Myth #3: Only Bad Employees Cause Conflict. Difficult employees may contribute to conflict, but most workplace conflicts are between productive and dedicated employees. Problems in resolving conflicts, and inadequate approaches to conflict resolution, contribute to the belief that conflict must be a disciplinary matter. EARLY INTERVENTION IS KEY Because conflicts have the potential of becoming crises, early intervention is important. Once a crisis exists, attitudes of those in conflict become rigid. Termination of the relationship becomes the goal and the risk of physical violence may exist. Consider these keys to conflict resolution: Expect Conflicts: Decide that conflicts will occasionally emerge in the discourse of human relationships. Don’t fear conflict, rather, learn to spot its symptoms early and see opportunity in the resolution of conflict. Practice Preventative Maintenance: “Don’t let a tree grow between you and a coworker.” Practice talking about your relationship with your coworker. Avoid retreating to the safety of withdrawal, avoidance, or the simplistic view that your coworker is a “bad person.” These are defense mechanisms that prevent the resolution of conflict. Frequently Discuss Four Conflict Parameters: Ask, “Do we have any concerns about: 1) communication between ourselves, our team, or the supervisor; 2) our roles and duties; 3) needs and resources for doing our job; 4) the work environment — customer stress, politics in the organization, or expectations of our work unit.” Ask what contributes to conflicts in these areas. Make honesty a tradition and tool for conflict resolution. Model openness and reward it if you are a manager or team leader. Seek solutions to identified problems, and follow up. Get Leverage on Yourself: When conflict between you and a coworker appears without resolution, it is time to get leverage. Ask to be held accountable for resolving the conflict. This brings your performance evaluation into the equation, but without taking away your responsibility for resolving conflict. This is hard to do, but remarkable change can happen when you are held to task.

What is Assertiveness? Assertiveness is the ability to state positively and constructively your rights or needs without violating the rights of others. When you use direct, open, and honest communication in relationships to meet your personal needs, you feel more confident, gain respect from others, and live a happier, fulfilled life. Benefits of Assertiveness Acting assertive helps maintain honesty in relationships, allows you to feel more in control of your world, and improves your ability to make decisions. Roadblocks to Assertiveness Fear that you will harm others, or that you will experience rejection and feel shame may prevent you from acting assertive. This is based upon a belief that other people’s needs, opinions, and judgments are more important than your own. Believing assertiveness hurts another person can keep you from meeting your legitimate physical and emotional needs. As a result, you feel hurt, anxious, and angry about life. Lessons learned from parents or caregivers contribute to your beliefs about the legitimacy of your personal rights. This can cause you to act passively to conform to these beliefs. A few examples include the right to decide how to lead your life, the right to pursue goals and dreams, the right to a valid opinion, the right to say how you want to be treated, the right to say “no”, the right to change your mind, the right to privacy, the right to ask for help, and many more. Acting to assert any of these rights leads many people to think they are acting selfish. Is Assertiveness Selfish? Selfish means being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself. This is not assertiveness. Being assertive does not dismiss or ignore the needs of others. Assertiveness focuses on legitimate or important needs. Is Assertiveness Aggressive? Assertiveness is not aggression. Aggressive means that you express your rights at the expense of another or forcibly deny the rights of others. If you struggle with being assertive, you may have mislabeled assertive behavior by others as aggressive. This may help you feel justified about not being assertive. However, believing assertiveness is aggressive can prevent you from taking steps to improve your assertiveness skills. Practice Makes Better Recognizing what causes your lack of assertiveness is helpful, but committing to change is more important. Practicing assertiveness skills helps you confront old ways of thinking, helps you become more naturally assertive, and is self-reinforcing. Keeping track of your progress is helpful. Be patient. In the beginning, you won’t be assertive at every opportunity. And you might be assertive in some situations where it isn’t necessary. It’s all part of the process of growing to be more assertive. Notice the general trend of your success. And give yourself a pat on the back as things change. Simple Assertiveness Formula Each time an opportunity occurs to be assertive make notes in a small notebook. Consider keeping it in your pocket or purse. Record: (1) the specific event that called for an assertiveness response; (2) what personal right was involved (i.e., the right to say “no”); (3) how you responded and what you said; (4) what you did well in this situation; and, (5) reminders to yourself about what you will do next time to be assertive if this situation is repeated. A Few Assertiveness Tips Assertiveness frequently means using “I statements” combined with a word that describes “what” you want. For example, “I want”, “I need”, “I would prefer”, “I do not like”, “I am upset about”, etc. Be careful not to minimize such statements by couching them with questions that subordinate your needs. Example: “I don’t want to go to the store with you – do you mind?” or “I’m tired, can you do the dishes tonight — is that okay with you?”

Was It a Traumatic Event? If you were threatened with death or bodily harm, or witnessed the death or bodily harm of another person, or at least the threat of it, you have experienced a traumatic event. Emergency workers also call these “critical incidents.” They produce traumatic stress. Traumatic Stress Symptoms The September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the U.S. were traumatic events that produced enormous stress for millions of people. Many people suffered psychological effects from the attacks for months, even those who were not nearby. Common stress reactions to traumatic events include changes in appetite and digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, headaches, anger, hyper-vigilance, suspicion, depression, crying spells, feelings of powerlessness, feeling overwhelmed, moodiness and irritability, anxiety about the future, loss of concentration, worry, withdrawal from others, nightmares, and more. Managing Traumatic Stress Just like a physical injury that should receive treatment, studies show that traumatic stress should be managed to prevent harmful effects on health and well-being. If stress symptoms emerge or linger after a traumatic event, and you deny their existence or minimize their importance, you increase the risk of an acute stress reaction and a stress induced illness. PTSD: The Stress Illness Fortunately, most people recover from traumatic stress symptoms, but some do not. These people may incur Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a debilitating illness that follows a traumatic event. It is diagnosed when traumatic stress symptoms persist for more than one month after the event. PTSD can adversely affect your personal life and job functioning. PTSD: The Symptoms The following are some of the key symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. If you exhibit any of these symptoms, it is important to seek treatment rather than tolerating symptoms that can interfere with your life. Untreated, some of these symptoms may linger for many years. 1. Unwanted or uncontrollable memories of the traumatic event that may include thoughts, sounds, smells, and images. 2. Disturbing dreams about the event. 3. Periodically feeling as though the traumatic event is still being experienced by re-living it in detail or having flashbacks. 4. Intense anxiety when you are reminded of the traumatic event by something unrelated directly to it. 5. Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations with others who want to talk about the event. 6. Avoiding activities or persons that remind you of the traumatic event. 7. Lost memories concerning significant parts of the event. 8. Emotionally numb sensations—being unable to experience certain feelings, especially those associated with vulnerability such as love, or intimacy with a significant other. 9. Sleep problems. 10. Difficulty managing anger and feeling more anger than a specific event should evoke. 11. Problems concentrating. 12. Often feeling “jumpy” or being easily startled. Preventing PTSD Avoiding PTSD is more likely when victims talk about their experience, especially with fellow victims, and caring family, friends or colleagues. One-on-one counselling can also be helpful. Group work can also be very effective and is often offered if the traumatic event occurred at your workplace. Participate in such a group if it is offered. Do’s and Don’ts After a Traumatic Event, Do: ▪ Exercise to alleviate physical reactions. ▪ Talk about the event with others who care. ▪ Ask for help, if you need it. ▪ Try to keep on a normal schedule. ▪ Get plenty of rest. Drink plenty of fluids. ▪ Eat regular, well-balanced meals. After a Traumatic Event, Don’t: ▪ Label your reactions as “crazy.” ▪ Make sudden, big life changes. ▪ Isolate or withdraw from others. ▪ Drink alcohol to alleviate difficult feelings. (This disturbs restful sleep crucial to psychological recovery.) ▪ Tell yourself to “snap out of it.” ▪ “Thought-block” (forcing yourself not to think about the event). Let memories occur naturally. They will pass.

Is anger starting to cause you problems in your life? The Canadian Mental Health Association has created a resource that provides information on anger and immediate short- and long-term strategies to help you regain control of your emotions and improve your ability to control yourself in a variety of different situations. Link to the page or download the PDF

Manager EFAP Orientation Video--Learn about mental health in the workplace, including: mental health awareness (signs an employee may be struggling), helping distressed employees, and how to refer employees to the EFAP.

No one will ever live a life so fortunate as to escape living through a crisis. Traumatic events such as job loss, divorce, sexual assault, or the death of a loved one can throw a life into upheaval and create a dangerous mix of grief, anger, depression, and hopelessness. This can lead to permanent psychological and emotional harm if not dealt with in a healthy and constructive manner. What is a crisis? A crisis is “an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending.” (Webster’s Dictionary) Crises are not necessarily about trauma, but human reaction to it. Because all individuals have different psychological make ups, an event that creates a crisis for one individual may not create one for another. As often noted, the Chinese “word” for crisis actually combines two individual characters that closely represent “danger” and “opportunity”. A crisis creates a crossroads in an individual’s life that can either lead to personal growth or transition to greater dysfunction. How do I know if I’m experiencing a crisis? You are experiencing a crisis when an event causes you feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with its repercussions. Events that trigger a crisis are not always external. An “internal event” such as a new psychological awareness that challenges or destroys an important personal belief can trigger a crisis. The following are indicators that you may be experiencing a crisis. Not all individuals experience every one. Sadness Anger or rage Hopelessness Confusion Fear Guilt Mood swings Forgetfulness Withdrawal from friends and family Flashbacks to the crisis event Inability to concentrate Disrupted sleep patterns or insomnia Lack of appetite Fatigue How do I cope with my crisis? The most important action that you can take when experiencing a crisis is reaching out for support from friends or family. A crisis not only creates the need to talk through your feelings, it also has a way of making everyday tasks difficult to accomplish alone. When loved ones offer their time and support, take it. A heartfelt thank you is all that is necessary in return. Do not allow guilt or pride to prevent you from receiving the help you need. Consider whether informing your employer of your circumstances and asking for needed time off or other accommodation is necessary to help you cope and recover. Refusal to look for, or accept support, is a mistake and can make it more difficult to gain the advantage resulting from a crisis. Because of the disruptive nature of the types of events that trigger crises, adhering to your existing daily schedule will help you to maintain a sense of normalcy and calm. Structure is key. Sticking to your regular routine helps combat the physical and psychological effects of a crisis. Sitting down to eat for every meal, even if you are not hungry will help to keep your food intake at healthy levels. Going to bed at the same time every night will help to combat insomnia. Stay away from mood altering use of substances during this period, as they can delay the healing process or even compound your problems, regardless of whether abuse or addiction is an issue for you. Big decisions often accompany a crisis. The rule: Delay important life decisions like changing jobs or selling your home in the face of crisis. A crisis that remains ongoing signals a need to consult with a mental health professional. An objective source of such help will provide relief, and enable you to make effective decisions as you go forward.

Fall comes with its many tiny pleasures, from bundling up in a favourite sweater, to sipping a spiced latte, or cooking up favourite comfort foods. But as November kicks in, the novelty of the season starts to wane, the days get darker, and the colder weather keeps us indoors more often. All told, it can start to take a toll on our morale. We can bolster our health, body and mind, by making savvy choices when it comes to our diet. 5 Nutrition Tips for Fighting the Winter Blues: Go Fishing for Omega-3s Feed your brain to stay in a positive mind set. Your brain needs omega-3 fats, an essential fatty acid that must be obtained from your diet. Fatty fishes like salmon, trout, sardines and vegetarian sources like flax seeds and walnuts are great sources. Aim for 2 servings per week of fatty fish (75 grams or 2.5 oz), and try adding 1 tablespoon (15 ml) of ground flax seeds in your morning yogurt or cereal. Think Plant-based Full of antioxidants and phytochemicals, fruits and veggies have many protective and health promoting qualities, including optimizing brain function. Try meatless Mondays, choose salads more often for lunch, or aim for a generous serving of veggies at most meals. Sunshine Vitamin to the Rescue Getting optimal amounts of Vitamin D have shown to have protective effects on our brain. From November to April, the sun rays cannot provide us with sufficient Vitamin D, hence the importance of getting this vitamin from our diet. Focus on foods where Vitamin D is naturally occurring like fatty fishes and egg yolks, or from fortified foods like cow’s milk, some soy and rice beverages, margarine or yogurt. Talk to your Registered Dietitian about a Vitamin D supplement during the winter months if you are concerned you may not be getting enough in your diet. Move More and Be Happy! Studies show that regular moderate exercise can help fight symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. It allows the release of endorphins, which make you feel good! Aim for a minimum of 30 minutes of moderate exercise daily, at least 5 days a week. Take advantage of your lunch hour to go out for a short brisk walk with your friends or colleagues, or head out to a lunch time yoga class. Stay Fuelled Did you know that the brain uses about 20% of the energy we eat? Providing too much or not enough energy to our brain can impair our ability to focus at work and make us more irritable. Pack a healthy lunch to avoid fast food and vending machine temptations that may leave you feeling lethargic. Ditch the candy drawer, which gives you a quick high followed by an energy crash. If you tend to get hungry between meals, grab an apple with a small piece of cheese to keep you focused until meal time!

To unlock the potential of food is really to unlock our own potential. From our skin, to our hair, to our waistline, to our energy, to our glow, to our focus, to our performance, to our health - it all starts with food. Food is a regular part of our every day, and yet when we are mindful about our food choices, it has an incredible power to heal, to nourish and to enhance lives. In March, National Nutrition Month, Registered Dietitians (RDs) are featuring the potential of food to fuel, discover, prevent, heal and bring people together - and your dietitian is here to help you unlock it. Tip #1 The Potential to Self Care Simple creativity in the kitchen There is an art to an elaborate menu, but simple kitchen skills allow us to be adaptive and resourceful. We have all had that night when we get home exhausted, somewhat frazzled, and miffed to discover a paltry selection upon inspection of the fridge. Knowing how to get creative with a salad or whip up a stir fry with whatever you have on hand shifts your instinct from delivery to DIY. Whether seasoned cook or novice, knowing how to improvise a simple, healthy, and tasty meal saves you money on takeout, and offers the opportunity to unwind in the kitchen while doing something good for yourself. Tip #2 The Potential to Optimize The right combination opens the lock Low carb diets, Mediterranean diets, gluten-free, sugar-free? Figuring out the right diet to best suit your goals, preferences and physiology can be a challenge because there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Certainly, whatever you may cut out of your diet, focusing your food choices on nutritious and unprocessed options lays the foundation for good health. Optimizing your health is knowing the right combination to unlock your own potential. Your dietitian will help you determine what exactly that looks like for you by personalizing a nutrition plan based on your individual needs, and helping you put it into action. Tip #3: The Potential to Bring Us Together Bringing connection to the table Food has the potential to be about more than feeding ourselves. Sharing meals creates the possibility for dialogue and connection with other people. It’s an enriching experience for people of all ages, from children to older adults, and it actually helps us eat a more balanced diet. Adults who eat with friends and family tend to eat more vegetables and fruits, drink less pop and eat fewer meals at fast food restaurants. Sharing meals doesn’t necessarily mean a family dinner. Breakfast with your roommates, family brunch, a potluck dinner with friends, it all counts!

In these times of economic uncertainty, money management is a necessary life skill. Job security is tenuous at best. Layoffs and cut backs take their toll on. It is critical that one plans for these income interruptions. Depending on the length of the interruption, it may take the family a considerable amount of time to begin living in the manner to which they have been accustomed...if ever. Being as prepared as possible for these income interruptions can make the difference between living on savings or living on someone else’s money – CREDIT. People who use credit counseling are not necessarily low income people abusing credit, but rather families with good wage earners that have been affected by strikes, illness or other unexpected interruptions of income. They are forced to use credit to cover necessary expenses until the income is resumed. Signs of a Debt Problem Your wages have been garnished You are only able to pay interest and service charges on your debt You need to borrow money to make it from payday to payday Creditors are threatening to sue; you have received notification from a collection agency Services such as hydro and telephone have been cut off Your home life is stressful due to financial constraints Here are some resources to help. Credit Counselling Society offers information, tools, resources and services to help you with making a personal budget, resolving debt problems including consolidation and bankruptcy. Also, offers financial calculators to help you better understand your financial situation. Credit Counselling Canada Manage Personal Finances - Government of Canada offers information such as on budgeting, credit cards, banking, mortgages insurance and retirement planning to help individuals make good financial choices. Consumer Problems, Money and Debt issues -- Consumer Law (Dial-a-Law) Canadian Debt Relief Women's Institute for Financial Education MoneySense Free Tax Clinics - Community Volunteer Tax Preparation Program Financial Consumer Agency of Canada Money Central Canadian Bankers Association - Financial Literacy Resources

Here to Help--Mental health and substance use information With the legalization of cannabis (marijuana) on October 17th, is has never been more important to understand what is it and how to make healthy choices about it. The The University of Victoria, Canadian Institute for Substance Use Research has authored a new information sheet on cannabis. On this page, you'll find answers to: Why we use cannabis? What happens when we use cannabis? When is using cannabis a problem? How to make healthier choices about cannabis? Is cannabis legal? What to do if you or someone you know wants to explore change? Link to Learn about Cannabis (Marijuana)